I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while now but keep putting it off, waiting for the perfect moment. We all know there is no such thing and I’m just procrastinating, so I’m going to write and see what happens…
At the very beginning of last year on one of those deep February days, I had a day that changed my life. I spent the day with Rosemary Cunningham the most wonderful Coach and it was simply the best time, money and energy I have spent in my adult life. I’ve saved for holidays, handbags and shoes that I thought would hold the answers and give me the missing pieces of my puzzle. Turns out I had the pieces I needed all along.
Growing up I had so much focus, I knew I wanted to work in fashion and I was dedicated to earning my degree. Once in the industry I realised pretty quickly that it wasn’t for me, I loved beautiful things, craftsmanship and the dreams it conjures but the other side – the copying, the nastiness and terrible managers wore me down very fast. During my final design job, my doctor at the time give me a choice, antidepressants or going travelling. I didn’t really want either so I left and took a job in recruitment, literally the furthest thing I could find from fashion. At the ripe old age of 24 I felt like I had lost everything. But looking back, the patchwork of random office jobs which followed have set me up with so many skills I would never have gathered otherwise.
One gave me the confidence to start teaching, I had just fallen in love with the creative outlet of jewellery making and would often teach my colleagues during our lunch breaks. Another gave me the confidence to start writing a blog and the final, gave me the financial freedom to be able to spend time with my young children and work out what was next. Good and bad – I’ll always remember and be thankful to those opportunities even when life felt like a huge messy struggle.
That’s a great story I hear you say but why did you have coaching? 2019 was a bad year for me, I had Stanley and Milly just 15 days short of two years apart and those first two years of Milly’s life were hard. I love my children more than anything but those early years of constantly being needed day and night were absolutely exhausting, finding time to nurture and build any kind of creative path was almost impossible. When Stanley was a baby I was able to keep up with pieces of magazine work that came in and kept my blog ticking along but with two little ones, a changing world and other pressures, I once again I felt I’d lost everything I loved and worked so hard for. I had however found flowers and it was during this time the soothing nature of the garden really began to creep into my soul, I just didn’t know how much.
It was a conversation with my youngest sister that got me thinking about coaching, I’d met coaches throughout my working life and was always intrigued. It feels a bit silly saying this but it’s something I thought I could do and so started to research. Knowing my neighbour Rosemary is a coach I quizzed her one evening and as she was talking with such deep kindness and wisdom I knew I needed her to coach me. Rosemary is a soul and money coach and that’s what I needed. I needed a kind safe space to reconnect with who I’d become since leaving university and becoming a mother and recognise my past work experiences held value and weren’t just a collection of random acts of being scared and in my twenties. Because I was so in the process, it’s complicated to explain what happened but I left the session with a new friend, me! And a really clear understanding of what I can offer the world. It was with my new found bravery and understanding that I started my flower stall and it was with that first jam jar of flowers I knew I had found my path. Coaching continues to percolate into my soul to this very day. There is not a day that goes by where it hasn’t helped.
If you are feeling scared, lost and all out of hope – I’ve been there and can’t recommend coaching enough (I also recommend therapy, that came next!). Of course I 100 % recommend Rosemary but not every coach is right for everyone. Once you open yourself up and start to invite the process in, the right person will be there for you. Ask around, investigate on social media and most importantly start talking. You owe it to yourself.
All images – Photography by Petra