Cow Parsley and Rainbows, a look back at lockdown

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With a weird sense of familiarity returning to our lives I wanted to take a little bit of time to reflect on the past few months. I truly believe that the world has needed this time and I’m so incredibly grateful to everyone who has worked so hard to keep us safe.

During the early weeks when uncertainty jump started a cleaning and clearing fix I listened to a great episode of How to Fail with Elizabeth Day and Mo Gawdatwhich my sister recommended. Whilst emotions did rollercoaster I focused my energy on staying positive and thankful for all that was good in my life. I took the time to look at my blessings and counted them daily. I know that this all sounds a bit twee but my role is to keep my family on an even keel as possible and this was how I coped.

That’s not to say we didn’t have bad days because we absolutely did – my husband continued to work in London leaving everyday before 5am and returning at 7pm. I was doing all the childcare solo without a break alongside all the household stuff which was not only monotonous but mentally exhausting but I was in a safe haven and felt VERY lucky about it.

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For me the greatest outcome has been the space to breathe, reflect, change and refocus my priorities. The world had become so noisy with expectations and double standards about what is expected from motherhood and beyond, I had to be just be for ten solid weeks and y’know, it was enough. Being so often told we need to do more, buy more, take our children on expensive trips to be a good parent made me never feel like I was never keeping things exciting enough. My intuition has always told me that they don’t need fancy things, just quality time and I found our simple adventures with my full attention have been some of my favourite days of motherhood.

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As I’ve been writing this post (its taken a while to process and articulate my thoughts) the world again has highlighted the brutality of human nature. My thoughts are redirected on how to make the world a kinder and more positive place – I’ve been listening and learning filling the great holes in my knowledge. And I will continue to do.

Before lockdown I kept coming back to the importance of listening to ourselves and to each other. In a world so dominated by pocket platforms that give anyone space to share an opinion, we have lost our ability to listen, to truly listen. As lockdown starts to ease I really hope we can step into a ‘new normal’ – one where success is not defined by wealth, status and power but the kindness and compassion we can show ourselves and each other in the most strange and uncertain of circumstances.

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